Michael C. Hallis standing tall. Drew Barrymoreis defining her relationship with Justin Long. And Meryl Streep is making some shocking culinary confessions—make that shocking nonculinary confessions.

Here's what's cooking backstage at the 67th Golden Globe Awards:

6:35 p.m.: What is Justin Long to Drew Barrymore exactly? He is her "date." That's how the Grey Gardens lady describes Long, her off-again, on-again whatchamacallit (and red-carpet companion tonight), whom, she reminds us, she forgot to thank in her acceptance speech.

• Barrymore also failed to call out her Grey Gardens costar/mother, Jessica Lange, in her speech. Given the second chance, she announces, "I wish I could split this award in half." (She makes no such pledge to her "date.")

• The word amazing has so many definitions. While Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner is talking about all the "amazing shows" on TV today, January Jones lets out a howl for Jersey Shore. "In our category, January," Weiner clarifies.

•Jon Hamm looks exactly like this. Really, truly, it's a show-stopper of a beard. The explanation for it, however, is ordinary. "I just got very tired of shaving," he says, "and this is the result"

•Big Love's Chloë Sevigny walks up to the mic back here like she's the Queen. It turns out she's waiting for the proper greeting. "That was such a tinkle of applause," she laughs, before working the room into a proper frenzy.

• For the fashion record, Sevigny is wearing torn Valentino tonight. The tear's courtesy of the Globes elf who escorted her up to the stage—and stepped on her dress. Not that Sevigny noticed…

5:45 p.m.: In case you were wondering, no, it's never a bad thing to run into George Clooney, as The Good Wife's Julianna Margulies did on her way up to accept her Globe. "That was the best. I got a little flustered," she tells us of the impromptu ER reunion. "I couldn't get up there [to the stage], and then I saw this face. This familiar face. It was very heartwarming."

• Meryl Streep always wins, right? Tell that to the living legend. Make that the living, breathing-heavy heavy.

• The obligatory cooking question has been asked of the Julie & Julia winner, and the answer is: "I cook constantly," Streep says, "but not well."

• Miss Streep—that's how she's addressed back here, by the way, as Miss Streep—reveals she did not know what a potato looked like until she was 10. Consider that further warning if you're ever invited for dinner at the Miss Streeps.

•Kevin Bacon starred in a movie about the military (Taking Chance) and not Julia Child, so he gets the obligatory Haiti question. "You feel weird, you feel guilty putting on your monkey suit," Bacon tells us. "But on the flip side, it's good to come out to talk about it."

5:35 p.m.: Mo'Nique, who's taken heat in the Oscar blogosphere for not playing the Oscar game, sure seems like she knows how to play. She's put-together, she's composed and she's working the room. Everybody's "baby" or "sugar."

• I ask the Precious star if she could've written a speech as powerful as the one she delivered off the top of her head (and from the bottom of her heart). She's not even going there. "I [didn't] want to prepare when they call my name," she says. "We'll just let it happen. Thank you, sister." That's me, sister.

• I try asking another question, but Mo'Nique demurs—first, "sugar," she wants to field Q's from other reporters. That's me, sugar.

• Based on her performance tonight, if Mo'Nique does decide to get into the Oscar game, then the game will be over for her competition. She's good.

• If you think Mo'Nique's speech was a tough act to follow, then you are not an actor who tends to be solely focused on yourself, the actor. "Selfishly, I was probably just involved in my own bundle of nerves,"United States of Tara's Toni Collette tells me about what it was like to claim her trophy after Mo'Nique's.

•Dexter's Michael C. Hall seems fine. It's we reporters who seem out of sorts. After respectful applause for Hall's entrance, the room falls silent. "Am I supposed to talk?" Hall asks.

• Our own Ted Casablanca does not shy away from broaching the subject of Hall's health—the actor revealed last week he'd been diagnosed with cancer. "I had every intention of keeping it quiet," Hall tells Casablanca, "but because the award shows were imminent, I thought I'd make a statement."

• OK, so about Hall's headwear: Yes, it's a treatment-related accessory, but more importantly, it's comfy. "I wanted something that was pretty simple, but a maybe a little fancier than your normal thing," he explains.

• Everything in Hollywood is nipped, tucked or altered. Even Hall's hat. He says it used to run longer.

• OK, so about Dexter (finally): Hall says the show's writers, they of last season's shocking finale, head back to clean up the mess and start the new season on Wednesday. "I think I'm excited as all the viewers to see what's in store," he says.